Donalacasa's Daybook: Monday, September 2, 2019

Outside my window...
I am thinking...
So, remember way back in April when I said that I was putting the Daybook to rest so that I could focus on "The Lady of the House" blog and then absolutely nothing happened? LOL Apparently, I have been blogging in this manner for so long that if I don't use this format it takes me too long to think of something to say and I end up saying nothing. So here is the new plan. Hopefully, I can sit down for a few minutes on Friday afternoons after my school week has ended and write all the thoughts that have been accumulating in my brain in the Daybook format and then plan to publish it on Monday morning. HOPEFULLY is the operative word. I am thankful...
For my empty nest. This is one of those "in everything give thanks" statements that you're not really feeling but you're saying because you want to be obedient in mixing the Word with faith and walking it out. In reality with my words I am saying that I am thankful for my empty nest because it means that our children were successfully launched, but with my heart I am missing my old life. (At this point it is a good thing that I know how to type without looking because the screen has suddenly become blurry and there are memories overflowing my lower eyelids and running down my face making it difficult to see -- which is why I had planned to stop blogging because sharing this puts me to an open display). I have often said that I had the opportunity to reinvent myself for each of my children to try and assist them in pursuing their passion. Now I have to reinvent myself again, but I am not aligning myself with someone else's passion, I am trying to figure out how to articulate mine. Friend Hubby and I often recall a message we heard preached (why do I feel like this message was preached in the month of August), entitled "If You Survive Transition, You'll Make It." I'm trying to survive transition without biting anyone's head off so it's a very quiet journey at the moment. Almost as quiet as our house at the end of the day... I am thankful for a Facebook group that I joined a couple of years ago because I know that I am not alone. While there are some who celebrate their empty nest, it is not shameful to mourn it either. My children were always homeschooled so I have never been the mom who celebrated being liberated from them when school started in September. It's okay to mourn. I have suffered a loss. I give myself permission to grieve and you too if you need it. It doesn't mean I'll be in mourning forever, but it's is okay to accept that grief for now. One day I will learn how to fill in the void. It's just going to take some time. Being an introvert, it may take more time than others.

I am wearing...
My favorite capris with the silver metal thingies on the front (Lane Bryant, I think), and a teal tank top. Central Texas is still in the 100s so it's too hot for anything else. I am still trying to keep my habit of wearing a dress on Mondays when I teach at the co-op, even though I don't have to. I am creating...
Nothing. That's probably a problem right there. I haven't picked up the knitting in a couple of years.

I am reading...
Late last Spring I found out about the audiobook app that I can use with my local library card. I especially love it since I have to make the long drive downtown alone. I like the sound of someone else talking while I drive. I have recently finished Quiet by Susan Cain, an absolute essential read for every introvert and every extrovert who loves an introvert. I also finished Lisa See's latest novel Island of the Sea Women which had themes very similar to Snow Flower and the Secret Fan. Her novels always leave me feeling like I need to seek counseling or at least pour my heart out over a cup of tea with a good friend, neither of which is likely to happen any time soon so I just journal away until I feel that all of my issues have been lifted and tucked away (until she writes her next book).
I am listening to.... Through Google Play, I subscribe to Revive Our Hearts Ministries. It is great to listen to on those rare mornings when I get up and walk Ella before the temperature reaches 80. I am listening to a conference speaker named Karen Loritts speaking about trusting in Yehovah in beginning that season of the empty nest. Listening to her is "cleaning out my closet." The message is called "Saying No to Fear and His Buddies".
I am watching...
Warehouse 13 is on Amazon Prime. I loved that show and wish it had had a better ending. I am looking forward to...
Going to visit my two youngest this weekend. Hopefully, The Grand Duchess can join us too. I didn't say it earlier, but both Crown Prince Sanban and Princess Butterfly are now attending The Grand Duchess' alma mater. Prince Sanban is a senior and Princess Butterfly transferred in as a sophomore. That, in and of itself, is a testimony of persistence. I'm so proud of them! The three of them created their own family tradition. I pray it lasts for many generations. They each live in a shared apartment, but they are on opposite sides of the campus. Prince Sanban had the benefit of The Grand Duchess living in town and working for the university during his freshman year. They didn't see each other daily but they knew they had family there if needed. Now in his senior year, he is that same source of support for Princess Butterfly.

I am learning...
I'm taking five classes this semester: Introduction to Sociology, Mexican American History, Women and Families in the African Diaspora, Historical Methods, and Modern European History. Over this past summer, I audited a course at a different university called Africa and Rome. It was SO fascinating. It was a totally secular class, but it offered a fascinating look into the lives of early believers before Constantine. It gave confirmation to the fact that early believers would not recognize what often passes for "church" in America today. Auditing a class that I did not need for credit was a great opportunity and I look forward to do that again in future summers. It only cost me $20 and although the university policy is that auditors are "seen and not heard," the professor encouraged me to be fully engaged in class discussions and I even took the midterm exam (but not the final). I'm not particularly excited about my courses this semester, but both history classes help me to prepare my lesson plans for the American History class that I teach.
A few plans for the rest of the week...
Not all of my textbooks have arrived. I will try and get all my syllabi into my planner app on my phone so I can see at a glance what assignment is due next. From the learning rooms...
This year, the co-op that I taught at changed locations for the first time in over a decade. The classroom in the new location is huge with three large wipe-off boards. Last week I had my students go to the board and I timed them in trying to come up with as many Native American tribes as they could. For a textbook, I am using the college textbook provided online for free by my community college history professor, supplemented with Crash Course videos for review and I also have them watch CNN 10 daily so that we can look at historical events and compare them to current events. I have four students this year, including the one student I had left after 2 of 3 students dropped at the beginning of last year. I hope to be an engaging teacher. From the kitchen...
I think Friend Hubby and I have cooked a real "dinner" twice since Princess Butterfly left. For one thing, it's too hot to cook. Another thing is that we really haven't had much appetite. The third thing is, how do you go from cooking family meals to cooking for two? Around the house...
I'm trying to give myself a schedule for decluttering. That is the main task of maintaining and empty nest to be sure. I can't use that Kanmari method because although holding something in my hand may not spark joy, it may spark a memory and I may be there for a while just staring at the object in my hand.
My self-care...
I spent the whole summer in physical therapy and also over the summer menopause became official. I "graduated" from physical therapy and now I am supposed to be continuing by going to Body Flow twice a week. I already missed one class since then. I am keenly aware that the self-care habits that I set for myself now, at the onset of menopause, will determine my level of health over the remainder of my life. This is one thing I MUST continue. Shalom and blessings!