Outside my window... It's been in the high 70s for the past few days, clear and sunny in late December.
I am thinking... I got past it. Hardest day of the year for me. My family shared their vulnerabilities around a delicious prime rib dinner, it is the meal we have every year on Dancing Angel's birthday. I didn't post on social media on her birthday. I didn't know if I was going to post at all. Who wants to see my sadness while they're sharing photos of their matching pajamas, right? Maybe attending two grief camps this year gave me a place to put my sad and I wasn't in a hurry to share it again. Eventually, I shared it the next day. In the photo I shared, my late father-in-law's picture is hanging on the wall behind her. His birthday was December 26th. Later in the same day, I learned that one of my former sisters-in-law had passed as well. The unfortunate side effect of my listening to historical fiction novels set in France this year is that I have learned a colorful new word. I don't cuss in English, but if I'm honest, this French word is floating around in my head. Also, an estranged family member has shown up in my Ancestry matches. There goes that word again. Sorry. Sometimes grief comes out in anger. I guess that's where I am at the moment.
I am thankful... Faithfulness. Two things happened this week that made me thankful for faithful friends. The first was Dancing Angel's best friend sharing the last photo they took together a couple of days before her birthday. This is her first year as a mother. She could have been thinking of everything else, but she remembered our girl. The second was the phone call that I have received every year for the past 18 years. In spite of the fact that my friend, who lost her oldest daughter in September, is grieving herself, she didn't break that streak. I'm grateful for that.
I am wearing...Yellow comfy clothes.
I am creating... I am encouraged knitting through this swatch book and learning new stitches. I look at it like practicing piano scales. I'd rather mess up now than mess up something that I feel is important.
I am reading... The Women of Chateau Lafayette by Stephanie Dray. It is about the Marquise de Lafayette, wife of the Revolutionary War hero. Her first name was the same as my Dancing Angel. I highlight it in my Kindle every time it appears, just because I can.
I am listening to... The Four Winds by Kristin Hannah.
I am watching... Every year probably for the past 10 years I wait for everyone to go to bed while I watch the Call the Midwife Christmas Special. It is almost always emotionally wrecking. Some years have been worse than others. This one wasn't too bad. I think the reason why I do it may be the companionship of other mothers who give birth on Christmas Day.
I am hoping... That Princess Butterfly gets over this crud she's been sick with over a week. I had hoped to have her help me paint her bedroom, but she's been down for the count most days. I have been holding it at bay too. Cedar fever is strong this time of year.
I am learning... This week I took a walking tour in downtown Austin where the guide told some of the black history of the city. It was really interesting.
From the learning rooms... I am working on spring syllabi, especially for my US History classes. I was least prepared for those classes when school started in August. I am teaching the middle school class at a different pace than last year, and the last time I taught high school US History was in person so I don't have all my virtual ideas in place.
From the kitchen... Friend Hubby did a wonderful job, as usual.
Around the house... I am getting some more seeds started. I watched a video on winter sowing in plastic bottles and it talked about pouring boiling water on the potting soil and letting it cool before planting the seeds. That should hopefully kill any vermin that might be in there, or maybe their eggs. That made so much sense! Because the weather has been so warm, the scallions are already starting to sprout.
My self-care... I worked out like a BOSS last week! I realized that BodyPump works most of the muscles in the front of the body for the first half of the class and the rear and lateral on the second half. I divided the class in half and did the first half on Tuesday and second half on Thursday. My triceps hurt! LOL Shalom and blessings!
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