DayBook Sunday, November 2, 2025

 

 

 

    

Outside my window… It is 60 degrees and sunny.  Last night I fell asleep to the sound of rain.  We hadn’t had rain in a while.  I hope we get more of it, just at night while I’m sleeping.  I don’t like driving in it.  

I am thinking… It’s been over three years since my last DayBook.  A friend of mine mentioned it the other day.  There have been many times that I have started it, but didn’t finish it.  Life has been very dark and difficult for the past few years.  Dreams have died, relationships have died, broken versions of me have died as well.  However, my Elohim has assured me in no uncertain terms that He is not done with me yet.  I still have work to do.  In the past few years, I have questioned the very core of my identity.  He has longingly guided me, spoken to me, encouraged me that He who has begun a good work in me will be faithful to complete it.  A death, burial, and resurrection has occurred.  The bindings of the gravecloths have been loosened, and He has called my name to come out of the tomb that life had buried me in. 

I am thankful… He has given me the most wonderful and compassionate support system through this transition.  I am grateful for every single one of them who have come through with their time (quality time is my love language).  I am thankful for every single one of them that have come through with their talent, helping me to do things that I have never in my adult life had to do on my own.  I kept saying, “Where do I go to school to learn how to be a grownup?”  I am thankful for every single one of them that have come through with their treasure.  We are seeing in real time on a national level what I survived on a microlevel.  There are people in this world who will take your most basic needs to sustain life and peace of mind, weaponize them and turn them against you to try to bring you to your knees to beg assistance from THEM.  I have dealt with people like that many times in my life.  If I don’t know anything else, I know how to look to the hills for where my help comes from.  I have been young and now I am old(er).  I have NEVER seen the righteous forsaken, nor HIS SEED begging bread.  I have had to beg for NOTHING.  For that, I am abundantly grateful. 

I am reading…  I just finished reading The Making of Biblical Womanhood:  How the Subjugation of Women Became Gospel Truth by Beth Allison Barr.  She was a professor at Baylor when my children attended.  She is a medieval historian so I absolutely appreciate her approach to laying out how the church throughout history has followed the dictates of secular governments in their treatment of women rather than being a light and a witness to the freedom and redemption that the Messiah demonstrated in this relationship to women, and how the church has changed over time.  My favorite part of the book is when she showed that the oft-quoted verse from Paul’s letters about being silent in the church is a direct quote from Roman law.  He was mocking the law and asking the church if they were going to act like Romans or followers of the Way.  Notice that I intentionally avoid the use of the word “Christians,” not because of its Greek origins as so many in Hebrew camps complain about, but because it has been co-opted and misused by people who call themselves Christians and don’t resemble the Christ of the Bible one bit.  

I am listening to.... I have started listening to podcasts again during the day.  It helps to keep my interest up in a variety of things and keeps me from checking my phone so often.  I graduated with my second master’s degree in August.  I have been in school for eight years.  I am a lifelong learner so I like to have my mind occupied with some idea or another.  My favorite is What You Missed in History Class (I don’t care for the sponsor so fortunately I can skip through the ads).    

I am watching…   Rev. Otis Moss III, pastor of Trinity Church of Christ of Chicago while I walk on the treadmill on Sunday mornings.  If the house is empty, I am singing with their choir too.  LOL.  I started listening because I was thinking about how my ancestors made it through other times of the rise of white Christian nationalism in the past, whether it was from the Klan or from Christian fundamentalists.  I wanted to hear from someone who understood the consequences of a lack of understanding of American history.  I may not agree with everything he practices theologically, but the 5-minute portions of the end of his service feel like sitting in a university classroom. 

From the learning rooms... Since August, I have been working as a professor of history at two institutions, one is an HBCU and the other is a community college.  I am an alumna of both institutions.  I remember when I was a student, I didn’t think that I would ever enjoy teaching there.  I absolutely LOVE it.  It lights up my heart just to walk into my classrooms.  It amazes me that I spent 25 years teaching my own children as a seed to bring me to the place I am in right now.  

We have discussed Mexican repatriation during the Great Depression and its similarities with current events.  We have recently discussed Nazi justification for the extermination of European Jews that they learned from studying the American Jim Crow system.  It is a difficult time to be a historian in these here United States of America right now.  It is tiresome but necessary work.  I know that I have been called to the kingdom for such a time as this.   

My self-care… A year ago, I passed my test for my first-degree black belt in taekwondo.  As a midlife woman on my own, I have encountered situations that could have potentially necessitated my defending myself from physical harm.  A line from a favorite family movie The Last Dragon stated:  “God help me if I ever have to use my art.”  A few months back, I was verbally assaulted in Trader Joe’s of all places.  The man was standing behind me saying insulting things in my ear.  At the time, I was just annoyed and he never put his hands on me.  A young Black man in line in front of me intervened before the situation escalated but it helped me to recognize that testing for a black belt is not a one time event.  It is a call to “stay ready so you don’t have to get ready.”  There are a few other women in my taekwondo academy who are close to 50.  The assistant director is in her 50s and she just tested for 4th degree, which makes her a “master.”  I have determined that I am going to keep going.  I never know when I might have to “be ready.”  I had lost close to 40 pounds, but gained at least 25 back after the test.  Today, I started training again.  I don’t test for 2nd degree for a couple of years but I decided that I will train to help my midlife TKD sisters pass their test too.  

Donalacasa